Putting Myself Out There

I got my first follower on my business Instagram page for marketing today. But instead of the joy I expected, I felt...fear. Apprehension. Because it was someone I knew in real life. Their presence felt sort of like a spotlight, and my initial response was to panic. I worried if my single Instagram post was too "amateur," and I questioned every decision I had made up to that point. But then I realized I had to take a step back and reassess my feelings.

Why am I so afraid? Because social media is sort of a blurred like between my personal life and my now-professional life, I became suddenly aware that my "life's work" (I know, it sounds silly calling it that) was now open to the scrutiny of those I liked, those I didn't like, and those I didn't even know. I feel somewhat scared of being judged by my peers, who were there when I was an awkward and embarrassing kid, a time I wish I could Men in Black Neuralyze out of my head. But then, I realized, why should I be so afraid of putting my "life's work" out there? The term is silly, but it does feel like a culmination of my efforts over a long period of time. The time I've spent on this is almost a third of my life so far. If this is something I'm so passionate about, I should be putting it out into the world. Of course, that's easier said than done, and I can't expect a million eyes on it right away. But part of my fledgling journey is giving myself room to grow and make mistakes. I also have to be confident in myself, too; I can produce something worth reading and convince enough people of that. In the age of AI, I know that the world could use stories like mine.

And if nothing else, writing a novel in itself has to count for something, right? I now look at the first follower as a start. As of writing this, I have three now (also both people I know in real life, but still, yayyy!!!) and hopefully more to come. Because every famous author and storyteller started somewhere, likely with the same fears and aspirations that I have. I now see it as a blessing to continue with my journey, and I know that as long as I keep trying, people will come.